Chapter 17: Random Stuff-Getting my Life

January 29, 2016

Hey ya'll... I know. I know... where have I been? Lol! In the words of Tamar Braxton "Getting my life together (insert loud smack sound)". I have been really debating on giving up on blogging. It seems like a such a commitment and to be honest I did not want to commit to it. Lol! That is the just the honest truth. However, when I started this blog, I realized very early on that it was NOT about me. It was about that one person who will read an entry and feel encouraged to keep going. To keep pushing to have a child, to have that dream career, to have reconnect with the Jesus, etc...

So with that I will push on!

Let's see where to begin... If you have been on my FB page recently, you will notice that I have released pictures of Beans. This was a huge undertaking for me, because I really did not want to put any pictures of her on social media. I felt that it was my job to protect her by any means necessary, from the evils that is social media. However, her daddy won the battle and we released our first picture of her on six months birthday- Christmas day. I think we almost shut FB down that day. Lol! I still try not post so many pictures of her but she is so stinking cute that I have to share sometimes.

 

I also started my own business late last year. It is still in the infancy stage and I am working on building my clientele. However, I knew that I could not ever return to a typical 9-5 again after being home with Beans. I really enjoy being at home with her and taking care of my house. Being a SAHM is hard work. For those who say otherwise, have never had to stay at home with your child, cook, clean and still be a good wife. It is a balancing act like no other. But I would not change it for anything in the world. It has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life so far.

Plus being at home has allowed the Lord to deal with me. I have been in a spiritual rut for the past five years or so. I slowly fell into this place when I first graduated from law school. I remember looking for a job and I had the hardest time securing one. I was living with my my then boyfriend and now husband at the time. Thankfully, I had limited bills but I still had (and still do) six figure student loan debt. I remember getting so frustrated with the job search. It was as if nothing was opening up for me. Then, when something finally did open I was driving an hour and half each way to get to work. Needless, to say I was right back complaining to God. I was so miserable! The more miserable I become, the more distant I become in my walk with the Lord. My "feelings" began to change and I began to doubt the very existence of God. Crazy right? But I was doubting because things were not happening according the time table I set for myself. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it.

I have learned that is NOT how any of this works! Lol! Timing is everything! God's timing is always perfect and always on time. Furthermore, living in your feelings will mess you up! I am now at the place where I am ready to get out my feelings and really live for God. To step out on faith and go after what I believe He has called me to do. It is time out for being afraid, bratty and anything else that would hinder me from pursing my passions. I have given up so many things because I lost my footing along this road of life. But not any more! Time to take it all back and then some!

Now, I can't take credit for this new found fire I have. I have to give credit to two of my friends. These awesome women of God have encouraged me and inspired me. I thank God for them both. One friend used to be like my best friend in college. Time and life has gotten in between that friendship, but God being who He is allowed us to reconnect. The other friend is a natural hair guru! I just happened to reach out to her about postpartum shedding (blog soon to come on that topic) and it just went from there. I won't give their names because they may want to be anonymous. But T and D... thank you both! Love you ladies!

P.S. ROLL TIDE ROLL- yeah don't think I did not watch Bama win the CFP! #Sweet16 #Alabama #RTR

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