Right now I am sitting on my bed with my daughter, while she watches Disney Junior. Yes, she actually watches television and has her favorite show at seven months old (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse anyone?). I am going to miss being able to do this with her for the next 12 weeks as embark into a consulting position. I. Am. Nervous.
I am nervous to leave my baby at home. I am nervous about my position. But the truth of the matter is that I am afraid I am going to really enjoy working for this company and that I am going to want pursue working on a full time basis. Is that crazy? For the past seven months I have been blessed to be at home with Beans. It has been the best decision I have made to date.
In this time I have been able to get back to writing and take steps to starting my own small business. However, when this opportunity presented itself, I could not turn it down. It is literally what I have been praying for! However, instead of being excited I find myself talking myself out of my own blessing. I am trying to figure out how I will maintain my breastfeeding schedule. What will I do if they offer me the position permanently? What will I do after I finish? How do know how much to save to account for my taxes? Can I handle the commute? You get the point... so many questions. So much worry...
But I cannot let the worry get in the way how beautifully the Lord has set this up. For example, my mother will be coming to watch Beans for me. So, that alleviates me having to worry about who is keeping an eye on my baby. I know that she will be in great hands. The fact that the position is temporary is helpful as well. 12 weeks will fly by and I will be back at home before I know it.
I have less than 5 days before I start this new chapter. I am not sure what will come from this opportunity. I am confident that everything will work out (Romans 8:28). So I will put the worry away and walk in my blessing. Trusting fully in God's plan and will for my life.
How did you other moms feel when you first left to return to work? Do you have any advice for me or other moms who are facing a similar situation?