Chapter 1: The Journey to Motherhood: In Everything Give Thanks...

October 8, 2014

Such a simple phrase but a hard action to do. The Bible tells us to give thanks in everything (1 Thess. 5:18). A literal interpretation tells us that whether good or bad we are to give thanks. The questions I have is how do I give thanks when the situation is so painful and I don't know where to find a thankful bone in my body???

Recently, this past Monday (10/6), I was told by my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) that my pregnancy had stopped progressing based upon my Beta levels (HcG levels which tell you how pregnant you are). In other words I was going to miscarry... AGAIN... This would make miscarriage number two (2) within six (6) months. But yet I am to give thanks in EVERYTHING. Sure God... Just please tell me how I am supposed to be thankful in this situation?

Each pregnancy was a pleasant surprise. My DH (darling husband) and I just enjoyed doing what married folks do and BAM! We got pregnant. However, the excitement has been short lived so far. With the first pregnancy I started to miscarry the day of our first ultrasound confirming the pregnancy. This happened two days after I received a positive pregnancy test. This last time it took about a week and half for the excitement to be taken away. The first miscarriage was diagnosed as a blighted ovum (an empty gestational sack), and this miscarriage is classified as a chemical pregnancy (basically nothing will show up on an ultrasound). If anything I am hurt, confused and frustrated with my Maker.

But then He starts to remind that He has everything under control, and that I DO have things to be thankful for. I am reminded I am seeing a specialist who is going to take action and not sit back and do nothing. I am reminded that I have a cousin who is a OB/GYN and is an excellent resource; as well as support system. I am reminded that I am at least able to get pregnant, so at least half of the battle is won. I am reminded that I have a loving husband who is right here with me and I do not have to go at this journey alone. I am reminded that I have an amazing group of friends and family who love and support me. That pray for me when I am too weak to pray for myself. I am reminded that what the Devil meant for evil, God WILL turn it around for His glory and my good. I just have to remember to hold on to God's unchanging hand. I do not know when nor how, but I am choosing to have faith, to trust God and not give up. I am not claiming this will be easy, because my first angel's due date is November 18, 2014.

But yet I...will...give...thanks...in...everything...

 

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