Chapter 35: I have a therapist

August 2, 2018

Yep, you read that right. I have a therapist. I re-entered therapy after I gave birth to my second
daughter. I felt as if a bout of depression was upon me, and I wanted to deal with it before it
dealt with me.

 

Anxiety. Sadness. Frustration. Every day after the delivery.
I knew I needed to reach out to someone as I was beginning to understand how unhealthy my thoughts toward my family, myself, and my children were.

 

Relaunched law firm. New baby.
Now, two babies. Wife.
Daughter.

 

What the hell was I doing with myself? I had not one clue.

 

How did I know I needed a therapist?

1.   I was irritable more than I was excited. I mean about almost anything. Traffic. Spilled
milk. Cold water in the shower. Anything you could think of made me frustrated.

2.   I felt alone even when I had others trying to help. My husband was there helping. My family
was doing what they could to help. My online family was congratulating me and giving me
encouragement, but I still felt isolated.

 

3.   I was having thoughts that were NOT right. I can’t even remember all of my thoughts, but I
knew they weren’t right. When I was wondering if I was meant to be a mother with these two
beautiful girls in front of me...I knew it was time to call someone.

 

4.   I was praying and still experiencing 1-3. Jesus & therapy go hand and hand. I am a huge
proponent of faith + therapy. As a Christian, I was praying, attending church, and doing what was
called of me from a religious standpoint, yet I needed someone to offer me strategies for adjusting
to the changes in my life.

As a black woman, I want to say this: CHECK in on YOURSELF. Do what is good and right for you. Talk
to someone who is unbiased, objective, and willing to listen to you.  I knew I needed someone who
was a great listener, black, and a woman. You might not have the same criteria as me for what you
need in a therapist, but you must know what you’re looking for. Find someone you feel good talking
to. Find someone who finds with you. Your therapist is about as important as your preacher. Does
your therapist need to have a PhD or MD? Are credentials important to you? Credentials are SUPER
important to me, so I knew I wasn’t talking to someone who simply likes to talk. Lastly, find
someone who fits your schedule. Are they available when you need them? Maybe not 24-7 access, but can you connect with them in a crisis.

 

Check in on yourself. You deserve it. All of it.

 

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